Listen up, you Mothertuckers!!!

I just got home from a long weekend in New York and I had a fantastic time!  My brother in law, Paul, is a Drag Queen and he and I took the entire ride home to discuss his act.  I love him, but he goes for Fish (natural) instead of the crazy, fun, over the top look that sells tickets to shows. 

            So instead of just telling him that and not doing anything about it, I decided to help.  I’m going to be a Fairy Dragmother!  I love Paul, who’s stage name is Dee-Licious, and I want to see him shine like the star he is!

            “Beating your face” is a Drag term meaning to make your face absolutely over the top perfect- literally to beat it into submission. Born a guy?  Fuck it- slap enough shit on your face and you can pass for Nicki Minaj!  I actually have been told I look like a Drag Queen when I do my makeup so I figured that with a little practice and studying, I won’t have a problem helping him sort it all out- with how perfect he already is, it’s gonna be a cinch! 

Super Hardcore!

As many, many people know, I'm super hardcore.  I'm so underground that Diglet is my favourite Pokémon...  I've probably spelled that wrong as I don't really know too much about it haha!  Well anyhow, back to how super hardcore I am.

I just found my studded bracelet in my bag of knitting and my screw earrings in the same place.  Yes I said knitting.  Got a fuckin’ problem???  *sigh*  I’m switching the gauged earrings tonight and I have decided I need to comment on that.  I also want to congratulate my good friend Tylene on bagging a job with Jack Sim, a very popular Australian ghost hunter and paranormal personality.  Cheers lovebug! 

I’m sitting here after a nice long, hot shower, drinking tea and enjoying some vanilla rice pudding.  It’s a fantastic way to end a day where life basically kicked the shit out of me.  I was shaken awake this morning to dishes that weren’t in fact mine, screamed at whilst still trying to sleep, made to sit in a boring waiting area at a physical therapist’s office (where I fell asleep on the husband’s shoulder and woke up being stared at by an old twat looking at my tits...)  and then to make matters worse I just felt lonely the entire day...  I fucking hate days like this!

Fancy a cuppa, darlin'?

The evening was brilliant though!  Spent it watching Psychoville on tele with mates, drinking tea and eating biscuits.  Afterward I took a nice long, hot shower and made myself more tea and some vanilla rice pudding... (dé ja vu??) So, I suppose today’s post is boring as shit...  Sorry for that! 

Tomorrow will bring a better post as I’m going to be buying some new knickers and getting my hair done...  A bit of a girl’s day out for me and one of my best mates, Jenna.  I’m excited- after today I need a good outing!! 

Maybe I'm Wrong?

Well it’s my first post and so I decided this ramble was going to be something that’s been on my mind for a while now.  Someone who is supposed to be my best friend (we went to secondary together) has become engaged.  This should be a joyous occasion, yes?  She was the maid of honour at my wedding.  Maybe I’m old fashioned, but you’d think I’d have SOME part in her joyous day, don’t you think?  I’m not asking to be the maid of honour. She has a younger sister and that honour (ha- see what I did there?) should and will probably go to her... but she hadn’t even really spoken to me about the whole thing!

I ran into the younger sister, who was also in my wedding, at the shop the other day, and she didn’t even fucking SPEAK to me.  She grunted!  So, am I just to assume that I’ve been completely kicked from their lives?  It hurts!

We watched the movie Bridesmaids the other night and I highly recommend people seeing it.  It's the first movie in a long time that hasn't either been a terrible remake or a fuckwit rendition of a "film."  Even the husband liked it!  But while it wad a great movie; it got me to thinking.  No one in the wedding party, save my husband’s brother/best man, has really spoken to us since.  Are we that lame that they don’t want to associate themselves with us?  I just don’t fucking get it... 

This brings me back to my old maid of honour...  I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.  She did fuck all for the bridal shower, did a half-arsed hen night and didn’t even pretend to be happy for me on my big day.  Maybe I’m lucky that I wasn’t chosen...  Maybe I’m being a selfish cunt for thinking this?  Maybe... 

That being said...  I've come to the conclusion that people WANT me to act like a fucking bitch.  Apparently I look like one... meh.  The other day I was getting a coffee and an older woman walked up to me.  I swear she smelled like those balls you stuff in the cupboard so your clothes don't get eaten.  She had to have been at least a million and a half years old.  Obviously I didn't say this, and I smiled at her and took a step back, willing to let her in front of me.  I have a soft spot for old people.

The woman turned to me, smiled and said "Oh!  Thank you dear!  You know you're not nearly as scary as you look!"...

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            What the fuck?  Really?  Okay...  So I smiled and didn't say anything, cos Mum always taught me to respect my elders... but what I wanted to say was "Wow!  For someone who looks as old as dirt like you, you sure haven't taken the years to learn any fucking manners!"  My friend Tylene said it best- respect is a two way street...  These old shits just don't realize that the rules apply to them as well...  arseholes.  I need some tea...